I've survived a series of mortifying "love" experiences during which the main activity was accepting the unacceptable. Being a late bloomer, it usually takes a ridiculous amount of go-rounds of doing what's not working before awakening to the sun of enlightenment. Some call this a champions dance of endurance and tenacity, but aren't champions supposed to get stronger and more clever? Should success mean being critically poisoned by a "toxic specimen"? Preferably not, but if that's what it takes to surface from swamp bottom with self compassion and miraculously swim back to solid ground...only to do it all again quite badly (but not "as bad" as the other times), well...then it's worth it.
Choosing to ignore warning signs that a love interest may be a little off balance (or possibly out of their mind), means a surreal haze has set in. It's a sign of looking for love based on sheer instinct, rather than logic. More importantly it's a situation that croaks for a soul search in self love. When all previous life skill training happened in a train wreck, the soul search doesn't come naturally and at best basic instincts can be a little off. On that note, I've put together a checklist of subtle warning signs that one may deliriously ignore, when loving in "Addicted Toad Mode".
romantic walks involve successfully shoplifting the corner store, without upsetting the staff
quality time means "just feeling good" (not blasted but somewhat lucid)
recreation time is black out time
valuables go missing from your home including things you didn't perceive as valuable (like your kitchen flatware)
going out happens in a bar where conversation means continually shouting and yelling to be heard
when asked "how y'all met" you holler back "happy hour!" or "closing time!"
going out to dinner is drive thru takeout, if the car is running
love is demonstrated by extremely violent jealous rages that erupt any old time, for no apparent reason
"closure" to an argument means the table packed full of drinks is flipped over in a public place (more often when your friends are on the premises)
having a conversation aimed at the voice of reason means sparking up a joint
socializing means meeting with unpredictable scary people that are seemingly unresponsive
peers involved are halfway through their lives and still living at home, with no visible means of employment nor career plans
these peers double down as "morning coffee buddies" who routinely take over your love interest's kitchen table, to chain smoke & swear about their lives, while swilling back one beer per minute
all listening is done by you
the bulk of all spending is geared toward mind altering
fidelity is not only a hazy concept but a word that calls for a Wikipedia search
talk of your future as a couple means talking about the next party
once the "honeymoon stage" is over, your main hobby becomes obsessing about your love interest's whereabouts
all information sharing is done by you
Choosing to ignore warning signs that a love interest may be a little off balance (or possibly out of their mind), means a surreal haze has set in. It's a sign of looking for love based on sheer instinct, rather than logic. More importantly it's a situation that croaks for a soul search in self love. When all previous life skill training happened in a train wreck, the soul search doesn't come naturally and at best basic instincts can be a little off. On that note, I've put together a checklist of subtle warning signs that one may deliriously ignore, when loving in "Addicted Toad Mode".
Love Rituals with the Addicted Toad:
quality time means "just feeling good" (not blasted but somewhat lucid)
recreation time is black out time
valuables go missing from your home including things you didn't perceive as valuable (like your kitchen flatware)
going out happens in a bar where conversation means continually shouting and yelling to be heard
when asked "how y'all met" you holler back "happy hour!" or "closing time!"
going out to dinner is drive thru takeout, if the car is running
love is demonstrated by extremely violent jealous rages that erupt any old time, for no apparent reason
"closure" to an argument means the table packed full of drinks is flipped over in a public place (more often when your friends are on the premises)
having a conversation aimed at the voice of reason means sparking up a joint
socializing means meeting with unpredictable scary people that are seemingly unresponsive
peers involved are halfway through their lives and still living at home, with no visible means of employment nor career plans
these peers double down as "morning coffee buddies" who routinely take over your love interest's kitchen table, to chain smoke & swear about their lives, while swilling back one beer per minute
all listening is done by you
the bulk of all spending is geared toward mind altering
fidelity is not only a hazy concept but a word that calls for a Wikipedia search
talk of your future as a couple means talking about the next party
once the "honeymoon stage" is over, your main hobby becomes obsessing about your love interest's whereabouts
all information sharing is done by you
Swamp Survivor Tip: To avoid a lifelong commitment to this ritual, get the hell out and blame this hop on the naivety of youth, out of body experiences, mid life mental-pause, whatever it takes to minimize the damage. Keep in mind this checklist highlights the best of times that the Addicted Love Toad is typically capable of offering. (Wisdom gained is best shared, but when it's lacking, venting is more fun).
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