Being stuck and stagnant signals somewhere along the way, a questionable turn was taken. A questionable turn is a choice that goes against our intuition or better judgement, (better known as a good ol' fashioned mistake). Historically, mistakes have been judged as "just plain wrong" but today's buzz is about "celebrating failure"(the guilt free, kicking up the heels in glee kind). This now gives one permission to laugh away the debt, dance over being homeless & whallop in delight when the car is seized. Where the heck was this mind freeing philosophy when I was soldiering thru decades of guilt ridden mortifying life disasters? Today, celebrating failure provides the basic incentive to wake up and roll off the air mattress, accept the losses and aim for a meditative state of "it is what it is".Living on crumbs of love is an example of "a questionable turn" - the kind of turn that leads to a place of lack (and sleeping on an air mattress). Most recognize lack as a serious void and get on with a more abundant path. Others, recognize lack as an old friend because "waiting" was something learned in diapers. These early life lessons of being akin to the desperate and uncomfortable, teach a disregard for personal needs. When someone sacrifices their inner needs for the sake of "saving someone", they give away their joy and enable the one they deliriously think they are saving. This is the proud stance of Miracle Toad Mode.
An example of hopping in Miracle Toad Mode is waiting for someone to do something:
a) that's not their idea
b) they are not capable of
c) they have no interest in
d) that their actions are not committed to
Typically, Miracle Toad Mode means "feeling alive when in some form of awkward torment", be it physical or emotional. Feeling good, peaceful and energized is foreign terrain when stuck in this ego state. Take it from a swamp survivor - waiting for someone else to "walk the walk" lacks abundance. As well, "chronic waiting" becomes quite telling in one's appearance, energy & ability to smile. So when does all this relationship failure lead to a trendy celebration? Actually swamp bottom deserves to be celebrated - because the bottom is the end of what's not working. Those who habitually shelve joy while waiting for someone to change, need to bottom out in order to learn what does not work. And in turn start doing what works to learn, grow and ultimately thrive. .
To stop coping in Miracle Toad mode, celebrate the burnout that comes with trying to create a miracle for someone who doesn't want to help themselves. And then abruptly turn onto a different path to avoid the next questionable turn. Perhaps, by soul searching inwards instead of outwards, a mini miracle may manifest within. Imagine, rolling out of bed into a window of time where the celebration is not about failure? And SO IT IS.
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